his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
