because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
