I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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