I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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