I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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