I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
