Whod you bang
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
