Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
