I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
