6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
