so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
