so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
