Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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