i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
