just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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