Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just had sex on a roof
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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