Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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