Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
