too bad you live with your parents still
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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