his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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