So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
