He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
