My hand turned me down
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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