There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
