i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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