Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
