i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
