Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
