I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
