ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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