Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
