After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
