hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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