Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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