Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
