did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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