That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
