So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
