Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
