I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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