FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
