you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
