This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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