I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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