I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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