We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hippo gnu deer
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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