If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
