I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize