Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize