adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
