Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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