No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
