Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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