Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize