it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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