i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
