we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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