So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
