Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
