First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
as a side note pls kill me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
