My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
