I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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