Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
