the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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