I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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