The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
