But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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