And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
